Laments Of A Lazy Language Learner............

TITLE BRIEFING: Friends, Countrymen and others...............for the past year and a half of my college life, I have tried......yes, I have tried........I juggled with them, tried to cope up or (in a more desperate scenario) keep up, with what is being said around me...........and..........I failed, yes...... I failed, not just miserably but quite fascinatingly (if the word be used). I now have my back against the wall......I have owned up to the fact that Hindi and Telugu are several leagues beyond my limited language scope, for all I have tried which includes (futile) attempts at watching movies in both languages, without and with translators (blessed souls), without and with sub-titles were efforts in deep deep vain at the end of the day.

HISTORY (It's mine OK ! so don't go to sleep): Before the beginning of my college years...........I could pass my life with the occasional thump of a Hindi song in vogue in my ears or maybe in an extreme case, go and watch a movie in Hindi that was critically acclaimed(eg: Lagaan, only movie that fit the bill).
At that juncture, surely Telugu was one of the farthest things, let alone languages, from the mind of a careless, free, school-going child trying so desperately to scrape a good grade his second languaged subject of his mother-tongue that he had to TAKE FOR A SUBJECT (I'll admit........I was never a high flyer in Tamizh, though things did improve much towards the end)...........For the skeptics, here's food for thought. An Example for my 'exemplery' 'proficiency' in my mother-tongue (I'm just heaping more pressure onto myself), I shall show you my all time favourite mistake, a mistake that would be cited on and on for three generations after myself and still greeted with impressive responses of laughter................போக்குவரத்து (transportation) blissfully became பெக்குவரத்து (god knows what it means, I sure as hell don't got a clue).......not only do i wonderfully "draw the wrong symbol" but i also forgot to "give a leg"when required. It may not seem to be a great mistake but when you've had 7 years education in the subject before making this mistake, YOU WILL CUT A SORRY FIGURE.
When I start to screw up I really do screw up big time. (If anyone is interested it would be willing to show one of my 7th grade or 8th grade examination papers, anyone will keep you laughing for a good amount of time)

So after deep thought and intense speculation and remembering other such traumatising incidents(one involving the complete harassment, all in Tamizh, of an essay titled வாழையும் அதன் பயன்களும், my mom was literally on the verge of tears after three intense hours of brain drilling whilst little me in the third grade seemed hardly that old or mischievous to cause my mom's hair to start graying that soon) and citing my wonderful life.......
the moral of the story is hence aptly "IGNORANCE IS INDEED, INDEED BLISS".

TIDBIT: God, however kept things on an even keel by at least making my English a bit better than by other "FLAMBOYANT LINGUISTIC ABILITIES"......

FUN-FACT: The first "big word" that I learnt and proudly told my mom that i had learnt a new word was CATASTROPHIC (after seeing one SWAT KATS episode whose funda was to always replace a C with a K).......well my mom wasn't surprised.......her first thought was that it's only fitting that i first learn words which mean what she's going through in life because of me.

Now for the THEORY: I'm a தமிழ் guy by birth and since time immemorial have been blurting only this language since i started talking.....I was a late talker by the way........My parents were a bit scared when I didn't talk but when I did they were overjoyed.......that was the last time they were overjoyed listening to my voice.......now they want me to shut up and do something useful in life for a change.

My life has taught me that all human being with respect to their linguistic ability are blessed with a SPAN.........that span is variable for different people...........MORE FOR SOME AND SOME FOR MORE. Well that's the way the ball bounces.......take an example here,

Me : My language span was a bit on the smaller side and comprised of
1.தமிழ் - my MOTHER TONGUE, and
2.English -my STEP-MOTHER TONGUE,

History or should I say children's books have also taught us one more important lesson that is, IT IS always the MOM that is good, kind and everything else fine, but IT IS THE STEP-MOM who is always in the spotlight, be it in Cinderella, Snow White and other fairy tales or be it even JULIA ROBERTS, who made it big at the box-office because of a "STEP MOM" movie (Susan Surandon took a back seat).................

My life is also no exception, English rode(though at least not at the crest of the wave, but was moving steadily) whereas தமிழ் was getting bushwhacked from all sides by me and ask me the same question 10 years ago, when I would have said vice-versa...........

So hence my entire span is occupied by two major power horses(English and Tamizh)......It's like Jackson துறையும் ஆங்கிலேயர்களும் versus வீரபாண்டிய கட்டபொம்மன் waging an intense battle inside my head............

And hence it is entirely not possible to put Laloo's Hindi aloos or a Tenali Raman for Telugu inside my head right now, but they have slightly encroached existing elements in the battle for my mind and have set up camp somewhere and blissfully STUCK IN THE "NO MAN'S LAND" of the battleground is my OWN SWEET SANITY SUFFERING and STRUGGLING FOR SURVIVAL................

Minor mutinies are also occuring then and there inside............
Little hints of Hindi are now hurting my தமிழ்(tamizh) but not very badly seeing as tamizh is still capable of keeping hindi at bay like the old times(which by the way caused many unfortunate souls like me away from the language at a younger age).........but if this was not bad enough for me who today is in a situation of turmoil, even the smallest but
Tiny trace of Telugu are now taking a heavy toll on my English (I swear.......I started making grammatical errors reminiscent of kindergarten students taking their first steps in the language).


Ramble 1:
Once you've gotten older and aware of the fact that certain languages are good enough to see off your life in good health.......on comes the imposing insistence of the need to learn a foreign language.
I dont get the point, anything that is not your mother tongue is foreign, so if they mean to say Japanese, French or Spanish etc. they actually mean foreign^2 or far-foreign language...........

Ramble 2:
Another thing that i dont get is the Germans, Chinese(who i like very much as a good set of people with a great football team for the former and still communists for the latter) insistence that they always are different when used along with other normal people.
The French speak French,
The Spanish speak Spanish,
The Japanese speak Japanese, The English English(obvious, but then..........so do we)
whereas The Germans speak Deutsche and the Chinese speak Mandarin, Cantonese........(i still don't know what language they're referring to when they say Chinese).

Unrambled................

OUTCOME OF CRAP TALK:
See, the point is the language span is like a pie chart with a large radius during our early years and one of a decreasing size as time progresses, it is quite better known that you pick up a language from an early age and that it becomes more difficult as the days pass.
Hence if you want to get a language learnt, better make sure that you are young enough and make sure sure that you are somthered with the language in all directions because the fastest way to learn a language is PRESSURE from all sides to learn it as a tool for survival, an indispensable part of your life............

Well pretty much as of now, Tenali Raman just handles the humour and Aloo sry Laloo with my politics..............

SO Know forth my comrade, we never know when the TONGUE MAY SLIP or the MIND MAY BLIP.........these are not in our control

SO MAY NOT YOUR WORD FALTER, SPECIALLY AT AN ALTAR (courtesy: F.R.I.E.N.D.S) OR YOUR FUTURE MAY BE ALTERED WITHOUT FALTER FROM THE FRIEND THAT IS FATE.........